This Just In...Elitist Obama Can't Bowl; Clinton Found Drunk in Darlington Infield

Not only has barrack Obama lost his title as Kingpin of the Democratic Party, but now, in what can only be rationalized as a moment of disgrace and shame, has taken out his elitist anger on the little guy. That's right, for all you little guys who cling to your guns and bibles and immigrant hate in lieu of your economic interest and political ideals, Obama's not the guy for you (well, that shouldn't really be news).

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton recalls how her "diddy" took her out behind the cottage and taught her to shoot. She then proceeded to get wasted with disenchanted PA voters. But did anybody notice what she ordered for her shot? Crown Royal. That's right, good ole gal Hillary went all top shelf on those voters. And let's just guess who picked up the tab. Think she sprung for it with a couple of her $109 million confirmed dollars (many of which I'm sure she earned at her job at the mill...before it closed *sob*)?

So here's the skinny on this "elitist" tag that's been stamped on Obama's forehead. John Kerry went hunting. John McCain gave the commencement address at Liberty University. Hillary Clinton got drunk. Connecticut aristocrat George W. Bush talks with a thick Texas accent. When it comes to black people, Bill Clinton "feels your pain." John Edwards is the son of a mill worker. Mitt Romney joined the NRA. All pandering to overgeneralized perceptions of their target constituencies. All Barack Obama did was identify a problem, call it what it was, and attempt to find a solution. Who wants a president who does that?